Random Thoughts

Anyone ever wonder what Scanner Bush would look like in an orange jumpsuit? We should have been able to get an eyeful of that during the Iran-Contra affair, when Bush clearly perjured himself in denying that he had anything to do with the scheme.

Now he and his buddies at the Carlyle Group may be investigated for insider trading after acquiring Taiwanese chip packaging firm ASE. Moreover, the purchase appears to be part of a quid pro quo to evade Taiwan's laws having to do with investing in the mainland Chinese market. China is an enemy of the United States. Yes, a Bush helping American enemies, a tradition for over 70 years.

According to media reports, the hellspawn of Turbo Bush, Barbara and Jenna (kind of like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, except without the "class"), have been asked to leave Argentina due to security issues. One Latin American tabloid had the twins cavorting starkers in the hallway of their hotel, but the hotel staff denied it.

What enquiring minds REALLY want to know is: do they swallow and do they prefer doggy style over missionary? Kind of hard to imagine their mom sticking Turbo's cock in her mouth (that is Condi's job, according to some of the more salacious Washington D.C. rumors), but the daughters sound like they could have a taste for tube steak.

But pulling out early to prevent having more boys aborted in Iraq are the Brits, Poles and Italians. The U.S. is being increasingly isolated and with Iraqi officials looking to bring Iran into the diplomatic mix in order to try to shut this insurgency down, the extent of Bush's debacle and America's tragedy seems to get bigger with every passing day.

Unfortunately, if Jordan's King Abdullah is correct, it will be civil wars for everybody during the coming year. It's too bad that Turbo has had to learn on the job that diplomacy does count. And it is even more distressing the size of his unilateralist mess is becoming.

Mitt's dick side exposed in gay flip flop.

Knives come out for GOP leaders as party takes a digger in Hawaii.

Pat Buchanan, America's most noted crank, actually thinks Vlad Putin had nothing to do with the poisoning death of Alexander Litvinenko. Somebody prescribe him some Lithium, okay? Sheesh! Look Pat, what Putin has to gain from this is silencing critics in Russian emigre communities abroad. He has already completely cowed the domestic media. Moreover, there is increasing speculation that Putin has engaged in false flag operations that resulted in the deaths of dozens of innocent civilians so that he could setup Chechen rebels to be crushed (not that I have any sympathy for the Chechen side, who are a bunch of morons, for the most part).

It appears that men may finally have a pill on the way that will allow them to engage in pregnancy risk-free poking. Of course, this has the hosanna hut denizens up in arms, who argue that it will cause more STD's since there will be less condom use. What they forget is all the unmarried and even married couples who will use it so as not to cause an unwanted knocking up. So in the end, all these voyeuristic rollers of the holy smoke are attempting to do is stick their noses into people's private business. Again, religion is never having to mind your own business.

But paying for the screwing they have been giving consumers for decades is Ford, whose debt notes were downgraded by Standard and Poor. Ford has always sucked, the lowlights being the Edsel and those exploding Pintos. It is too bad that their ill fortune has resulted in the layoffs of tens of thousands of workers over the years, but the fact is that anyone with a brain should have seen this coming. Like GM, this company has been run into the ground by incompetent management. But will those execs pay the price for that? No. Mr. and Mrs. Lineworker will. So if this company disappears, and it probably will in my lifetime, nobody will miss it from a qualitative standpoint.

Also being ankled for poor product is television. Young people are abandoning the idiot box more and more in favor of internet video content. Your sulfuric soothsayer has had his tube in the upright and off position almost the entire Thanksgiving holiday period, the only things interrupting that silence being the USC-Notre Dame tilt (being a California native it is ingrained into my genetic code to watch it) as well as an episode of a cartoon called Metalocalypse, which is a hilarious series about a dimwitted but mindblowingly popular fictional death metal band. Instead, I often hang out at You Tube and watch music and people's personal videos.

Back in the land of white trash, Canadian bimbo Pam Anderson and her yingyang husband, Detroit's Kid Rock, are splitting. Never saw THAT coming, did you? While I have no respect for any rapper except for Wycliffe Jean (and that is only because he is a megatalented musician and not just the usual gangbanging dumbass), Kid Rock has had an engaging dorkiness and obviously loves music even if you wouldn't want him as a neighbor.

Don't crumple up that piece of notepaper just yet. It could be the hot new data storage medium and I ain't talking books here. You gotta check this out.

Finally, to the Iraq Study Group, thanks for a whole lot of nothing.